It's SNOWING. First time driving in SNOW. And wow is it a lot of SNOW!

Also I'm doing that crazy weird thing where everything's moving REALLY FAST but also REALLY SLOW and I feel all crazy-weird 'n stuff. All the proportions on everything are all out of whack. It's strange, yet common. I think this time was spawned by me yelling (in text) at a crazy person who seems to think that Blizzard Entertainment is currently orchestrating a massive worldwide conspiracy to hack people's accounts in order to push them into buying an authenticator. As if they'd risk billions for a few million in chump change!

Yeah.

Wow, I need a life.

I saw that WoW was providing feeds that Google Calendar could tap into, and that Google Calendar could sync with my phone, so I decided to try combining all three.

I've just discovered the joys of Google apps. Huh. I should try more of this stuff out! GMail should be next. I've had an account for a long while, but only one person even has my email address there.

So, a few... weeks? Months? back, the lady (you know, I really need to come up with a name for her. Did I ever? I might've, and forgot. It's been almost a year since I updated this) with whom I've been playing D&D for almost seven years now (!?) wrote me and said she missed my blog posts, and that I hadn't posted in a while.

She's right. I really have failed at updating. It's been an entire year! C'mon, surely things have changed with me, right?

That'd be the perfect lead in to a "No, things are the same," but they're not, actually.

I own a car. Saved up, got about $6k in the bank, a month later after breaking that value, I still had $6k in the bank, and that was the value I'd always been shooting for, since every car I saw that didn't look run down but was still "cheap" or "older" was around the $6k range. I didn't need anything fancy or anything like that.

Honest truth though? About a month after I broke the $6k in the bank? A girl (rather cute) contacted me on the internet, had just broken up with her boyfriend, wanted some rebound cuddling and fucking. This, this is what inspired me to go out and buy a car. I dropped by a dealership that had had an ad in the paper for a $5.8k car, and bought it.

To be perfectly honest, the car was a friggin' steal. Silver, leather seats, shiny blue dashboard lights, four-wheel disc brakes (which was something I was CERTAIN I wanted, but not sure I was going to find), small, good turning radius, sunroof, hatchbank, and in -damn- fine shape. Only one owner, ever. A 2003 Hyundai Elantra.

That taught me something. Apparently, I derive aspirations, inspiration, and actual personal drive from women being interested in fucking me. It makes sense, because most of the times I've ever managed to do something in my life, there's been a girl somewhere who got hot at the idea of her and I screwing.

The girl and I? Didn't work out. I'm somewhat pissed at myself about it, also a little disappointed. But I do suspect that a great deal about us was incompatibility. The first time we met, we spent five hours with foreplay 'n such before finally getting down to fucking.

Now, this is me. Three(?) years of no sex, plus what sex I DID have previous to this particular dry spell was infrequent and uncommon, no more than twenty times with two women, period, mostly due to my own hiding from the world, and I've just lain in bed for five -damn- hours with a cute girl with good breasts, who's not rotund, and spent the entire five hours turned on.

How long do you think I lasted? Yeah. That's not even the start of the problem.

She liked MISSIONARY position. One position I've -never- been comfortable in. I'm all legs and arms and stuff, and worse, my cock curves down, and trying to bend it up is annoying at best and fucking painful at worst. Worse, doggy style (my favorite) is her least favorite. Missionary's a position I need FUCKTONS more practice with before I'm ever going to be good with it. On top of her wanting it only missionary? She wants it very cuddly and close and belly to belly, face to face, liplocking while fucking. (Kinda like a replacement boyfriend, which isn't terribly surprising.) Think about the angles here. My penis doesn't bend up, but her vagina (and hips) are around my belly, which means if I'm going to be putting myself inside her, my penis has to bend upwards. Which it does. Not. Do.

So, a couple minutes of me struggling to find a position where I can fuck her (and failing by mashing my five hour erection into her stomach) while struggling with kisses and arms wrapping around me trying to pull me closer (which makes positioning harder), my cock gives up, and bam. Over.

Fucking -frustrating-. She and I got together about three more times over about two or three weeks, but all I ended up doing was fingering her a -lot- (which she commented on me being unusually good at, as apparently she needed lube with her last boyfriend for fucking, but wouldn't have with me. According to her). Mostly because I couldn't work up the desire to actually fuck her, though toying with women's pleasure centers is always fun. Tried to get her to open up about fantasies she might have, finally got one thirty minutes before I leave the last night we ever saw each other.

Plus I think there was a pheromonal thing, because the smell of her skin just wasn't quite... right. It didn't sit with me well. I thought at first it might've just been a one-off thing, but it was the same scent each time.

We ended up just "losing touch" or whatnot.

No real big deal though. Some things just aren't really meant to be.

I bought a car because of it though! Which is definitely nice. Averaging about 28MPG (I must remember to air up my tires!) and I'm able to actually get sleep now, as opposed to the last many years of riding the bus.

I've started up gaming with that lady I've always gamed with, though the latest group doesn't hold a candle to our previous groups. And, honestly, I'm really not jiving with the DM's style. And the fact that we continually seem to find ourselves in -really- ugly combat scenes where he throws an encounter four to six levels over us, and usually ends up wiping the floor with our party. He actually managed to kill off someone else's character in some really meaningless fight today. Character death is fine, but it ended up being for literally no reason at all, as our reason for fighting the particular battle in question died in the same battle. And it honestly feels like the group cohesion was off too. Lack of roleplaying, no backstories (mostly because it's a homebrew campaign with no information provided other than a list of gods and what he verbally tells us)... it's just not really fun. I'm probably dropping that group. May try to find another one, but doubt I will. *shrug*

Strangely, over the last six months or so, I've been feeling weirdly sore. Mostly neck and head pain, though some pain in my other joints. I think my position during sleep is wrong, or perhaps the fact that I lie on the floor to use the computer. Sometimes on my side propped up on one elbow. Always the same elbow. I really should find a solution, like, say, a better place for me to have my computer.

Beret up north and I have lost touch a great deal. I don't like it, but really for most of the last year I've had almost nothing change in my life, and if nothing changes, there's really not much to talk about. Plus, she's really busy. It's only been the last month or two that most of the stuff in this post has happened. Actually, probably all of it. (Oh yeah, I turned 27.) It sucks. What's worse, is now her dad's in the hospital (again) with heart problems (again). This might be his second surgery? Happening in a couple of days, hope he makes it out alright. I rather like the guy. (Unfortunately, the lady I play D&D with (DAMNIT, I NEED A NAME!) -also- had serious heart problems this last few months too. Grr. Do not like this.)

So yeah. That's an update. Right? Right.

COMPUTER GO BOOM!

Folks were telling me that my random crashes in WoW and my BSODs were bad RAM. I eventually thought of testing it about a week ago. Kept thinking "I'll get around to it tomorrow."

Welp, I'm now posting on a completely fresh install of Windows, on a brand new drive that's 650GB in size and misformatted to 120GB, with my old drive currently not hooked up because I only had the one drive cable. One stick of RAM has been ripped from the shell of my very needy machine. Stupid machine.

Well, that's the second guild I've seen die from the inside. This one I never made it very far in, due to my job. This one was the best Alliance side guild on the server. Now what? I'm honestly tempted to only play WoW a bit more for the holiday achievements, and focus on... something else. Just don't know what. I SHOULD focus on something that'll improve me financially I just... don't know what.

Holy crap, I'm really seriously beginning to hate my job. Last week I slept one time for 14 hours straight once I got home, because of the insane schedule they have me on. I mean, seriously, 6AM Monday, 4AM Tuesday, 10PM that same Tuesday? I might as well be flying a plane from California to New York to London with that kind of jet lag, every single damn week. And my boss is an utter bitch sometimes. She'll ask a question, a simple 'Yes/No' question, and then when I answer, respond as if I'd provided the exact opposite answer, simply because that's what gives her the opportunity to criticize me more.

It takes all the rest of the week just to get my body's internal clock back to 'normal' rhythms, only to do it all over again.

Hit 80 two days ago, already have a piece of Naxxramas 25 man gear.

Last week was tough work, nothing but 4AM and 10PM shifts. It's like I'm in perpetual jet-lag with this job these days, and it's really starting to look like it's not worth it.

Start of the month + holidays means tons of work at work, and probably one mean boss. Bleh.

Now I have to get car insurance. Bah, I hate driving.

Birthdays. They suck. This one, not so bad. No one's gotten me anything, and it's finally exactly what I've been asking for for ages. I'm actually rather pleased.

I noticed a funny thing a couple days ago. I was in a car accident. No, that's not the funny thing, but since I know people are going to want details, here they are: I wasn't driving, I was front side passenger in a van. Everyone's pretty much alright. Car hit from the left, hit the front corner, spun the van 90 degrees to the right. We suspect they were speeding, but technically they were not at fault. Not for the most part, at least.

Anyhow, cops, friendly drivers, firemen, ambulances, the usual. Everything gets sorted out, and I catch a ride with a total stranger headed my way, who apparently either knows, or was asked by the other car's driver to call her mother about the accident.

Now, realize, the lady was up, walking around, pretty much ok, 'cept for some problem with her arm/hand. The mother gets word of the accident and starts crying. I don't get that. She's fine. Not dead. Why tears? Confusing.

Also, we got rid of telegraphs in the early 1900s. Expensive, short messages were replaced by phones. Why then does my internet essentially cost $0.10 per gigabyte, yet a text message I send costs $671,088 per gigabyte and is apparently a more popular option than actual phone use. Am I the only one who sees the insanity in paying vast sums of money for conversations that occur 160 characters at a time? A 60 second (or less) call can have far more words and meaning transmitted, and costs $0.04. If I could turn text messages off on my phone entirely, I probably would, but the rare occasion when I need to get a message to someone and they're not picking up their phone is handy. Though I suppose most folk have voicemail (but I don't (I don't see the point in paying for a service that should be designed into phones themselves), and so therefore I don't feel like I can depend on it in others).

Sex drives are stupid things. When I forget about mine (as I apparently did for three weeks a couple days ago, apparently I'm under way more stress than I realized) I didn't miss it. Now that I realize it's gone, it's vaguely coming back and I find it rather frustrating. Partly because the way I've organized my life doesn't make sex an easy thing to do.

Oh, yes, the car crash? The right side of my neck hurts, as does the right side of my lower abdomen. Muscle strain, really, from trying to keep myself from flying too far left into the driver. Whom I should probably give a name for this blog. Hrm. *ponders*

Wrath of the Lich King is here. My bestest guild ever died several months back, mostly because of the guild leader burning out and quitting. Anyhow, Wrath came out, and UPS shipped it 900 miles away. Which meant the first week it was out, I wasn't in it. Bah. I've finally hit 71. Only seen one area of Northrend so far. It's alright. Nothing special yet. The Nexus wasn't as impressive as I thought it'd be. And all I got for level 71 was a single upgrade to a buff that means I now have to actually pay attention to it. Bah.

There was some other random thing I wanted to post here, but I don't remember what it was. *shrug*

I haven't blogged in ages. I know.

Sometimes I feel close to dead. The only thing keeping me going at times, I think, is that I don't know what living is like.

====

The above was what I started writing on September 4th, more than two months ago. I stopped writing, walked away, and two weeks later my computer died.

Four blown capacitors on my motherboard. I've since had to replace the motherboard, RAM, and CPU. Only the motherboard's PCI-E slot for single graphics cards is attached wrong and offset back by about a quarter inch, so I continue to have small graphical issues to this day. Though it could be due instead to my graphics card itself. I don't know. It took me a couple weeks to figure out what the problem was and repair it.

I'm still not very happy. And that's not related to the computer.

I really don't know what else to say. I think I had other things, I just can't remember what they are. None of it really seems important right now.